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Saturday, 11 December 2010

Ratbag granny

Oh, oh, and there's Mr. Parkinsons wobbling by the side of the bridge, talking to the deaf man with the daschund. Please don't let him say it, I'm thinking.
"Hey! Long time no see."
I have to get off the bike as he is blocking the entrance to the wooden bridge. He is looking at the deaf man who always gives me a cheery silent hello.
"We thought she had died," says Mr. Parkinsons. "All laid out on the wall like that."
"Really?" the deaf man nods.
"White as a sheet. We had to hold her legs in the air and somebody gave her some water."
"Really?" The deaf man looks concerned.
"I'm fine, " I say.
"Was it your heart?" Mr. Parkinsons questions.
"No...actually (my heart is starting to speed up here) actually it was nothing...a mild panic attack." I say.
"Oh right...because we all thought you had died because nobody saw you again."
"I hate panic attacks," the deaf man says softly. "You never know when it's going to happen."
"Or was it not water? Was it a fizzy drink?" asks Mr. Parkinsons.

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Invisible wife.

In fact, she sort of looks like this...except that's Arthur I have drawn. Her dog, Fido, is a huge Alsatian.

Clickettttty clackeeeettttty

I fear the invisible wife next door has been abandoned by Henry. She's turning into a Groke. She wears a floor-length leather coat and knee-high , lace up boots. She appears to have taken up gliding a few inches above the pavement rather than the usual one foot in front of another stance. I should have looked for the tell -tale puddle of ice.

Monday, 6 December 2010


I have a trial version of Corel Painter 11 which is terrific but why do these programmes have to be so expensive? New year resolution....write and illustrate a children's book.

Playing on the Wii I discover my Wii age is 48...hooray. My BMI is ideal...hooray. I am five kilos overweight...BOO. For some really weird reason I cannot stand on one foot without falling over. I am quite puzzled by this. I also find it impossible to mirror image the virtual trainer who tells me to raise my right foot and left arm. This leaves me in a state of utter confusion and then I fall over. But for some reason I find this very funny. I'm lousy at ski jumping too but I am easily entertained.