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Friday, 28 August 2009

Wholly Mackerel

Click to enlarge if you have nothing else to do.

Always pay attention to a fishy challenge.. I still don't know if I have spelled mackerel correctly...even after googling mackerel images. It's the heat. The town is falling apart at the seams. It's too hot to be outside for more than ten minutes. It's too hot to eat outside. It's too hot to go to the mountains. It's too hot for the dogs. It's too hot to listen to the ¿¿¨%·· pile driver outside the garden wall.

There is a confession box at the end of the street which also goes by the name of a bottlebank for recycling bottles. You can see the guilt swimming off people as they either...
1) Boldly approach and loudly deposit one empty bottle.
2) Or the beer drinkers who take aim and fire fast, ratta tat tat.
3) Or the more expert type who tiptoe up and quietly try and make their wine bottles slide noiselessly down the side.
4) The "I've had four heart attacks already and you can take a photo if you want."
5) Or the ...I hope nobody is counting.
6) Visibly hold up empty tomato juice bottles with a smug smik.
Not telling which is me... but it's not number six.

Wednesday, 26 August 2009


Don't ask me how I did it but I left my Ramirez student guitar on top of a small candle and it burned a ghastly , charred circle on the back. This was just as real to me as if someone had placed a red hot half-crown on my forehead and left it there. I was so heartbroken I couldn't even take it out of its case for a month.

But yay! Step in an apprentice luthier from the next village who took it away for a few months and now it is back and he has done a breathtaking, beautiful job. I am over the moon.

I told him about the guitarlele I have and he had never heard of one. I could see from his face when I brought it out that he thought..."Fer Gud's sake...this isn't a real musical instrument."
"Wait, " I say. "Listen."
"Coño!" (Literally translated is a very rude word but used in Spanish to express joy, surprise and general disbelief), he shouts. "I've been looking for the perfect birthday present for a pal and this is it. Coño!"

Phone call from brain lady in the next big town asking if I would still like to partake in the group with brainclouds that starts in September. My particular braincloud being panic attacks and avoiding (with incredible skill)...restaurants, public places, supermarkets, summer beaches, parties, dinner parties, hairdressers and anything involving more than three people.

This is a really scary idea but also very funny. A room full of agrophobics. Will anybody turn up?