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Sunday, 20 September 2009

The New Loo

You need to click the picture to enlarge...and you need to do this to see the instructions for the new loo.

I honestly had no idea that tap dancing on the loo seat is not allowed...and why can't you put nitric acid in it? But what really has me is the feather for? Suggestions anybody?

Chaos still reigning. They have delivered the wrong floor tiles. I am washing in a bucket and eating bacon sandwiches. Just like being back in the brownies but without the smirking "Look, I've got my new sewing badge" buddies.

I was never destined to be in a group but tomorrow I am going to a braincloud meeting. If I don't implode I should at least get some comic strip material for Maureen.


  1. Having excluded all the more unbloggable feather fancies that crossed my mind, obviously it's the artist's depiction of the fine drawing quill with which she produced these admirable sketches. You may ask, what did she draw the feather with then? It must have been the back-up feather.

    Incidentally, that can't be tap dancing. Not even Ginger could tap in those shoes. I reckon something more Spanish - flamenco perhaps, or Ibiza.

  2. The braincloud meeting sounds interesting! Have fun with your new loo, looks like it does lots of tricks!x

  3. I have to tell you, I have a story about my mother standing on a toilet seat in a little hotel in Austria in 1973. Long story, but briefly:

    There was a window behind the toilet that opened from the top out which didn't allow you to look out at all. None of it made sense. You could see light but even from outside the hotel you couldn't see/find the window. So one night my mother toddled down the hall to do her business and after flushing, it was full moon night, she stood up on the toilet seat to take a look see. Well you know what happened and she came back to the room giggling and leaving squishy wet foot prints all down the hall. She sat on her bed laughing and my father said "Be quiet! Go to sleep!" And then my mother said "I fell into the toilet." Silence. Nobody said anything. And then the snickering started from my father and me. Next thing you know we had the light on and we were roaring with laughter. Next morning we went down to breakfast and my mother, trying to speak to a woman who spoke little English, told her that she'd broken the toilet seat. Without a beat the owner left and came back with a bill. Apparently this had happened before.

    Years later I was back at the same hotel and I had to know where this window went so I stood on the rim of the toilet. Lo and behold the window opened onto an air shaft that could not be seen from outside.

    So I'm thinking this illustration is probably now on the wall in the bathroom at that hotel.

  4. Ha, ha! That's a very good story. When I have a moment I will tell you about a Spanish hole in the floor loo that was connected to a washing machine. Well...I'll tell you now. It was in a bar in the country and I really needed to have a wee. Bad enough that the door was made of frosted glass and right by the tables and chairs. Even worse, it was a ceramic plaque on the floor with a hole (good aim essential, obviously designed by a bloke).
    Especially tricky for a female wearing tousers but when I finally got the hang of it...woosh and the washing machine next to it discharges twenty litres of foaming suds and dirty water all over the floor loo, halfway up my shins, soaking my trousers and any traces of dignity left.
    I walked out with bright, burning red face and the bar owner said. "We always do the wash on Tuesdays."

  5. That's complete nonsense about tap dancing being prohibited.

    All forms of the terpsichorean art are positively encouraged, if not obligatory, particularly the Rumba.

  6. It could be the new "Strictly Come Dancing". Quite appropriate really.

  7. HA! I love Europe and these bizarre toilets. Very funny and reminds me of a friend who went to Europe by herself in around '75. She's very small, under 5 feet. She was in Paris staying with relatives who decided to take her downtown shopping. So she dressed in her nicest velvet pants suit. You can see it coming, can't you? Was in a small shop, said she'd needed to use the toilet and was pointed out back. She had no idea what they meant but went in search. Outhouse, hole in the floor, two bricks you put your feet up on spaced wide apart. It was quite a stretch for her with her little legs and wouldn't you know when she grabbed the cord to flush she fell off the bricks and had everything all over her shoes and splattered all over her nice velvet suit. Now this is a woman who is fastidious so I can only howl with laughter when I think of her covered head to foot in s***. She casually went back into the store and said to her relative she'd like to return home and go shopping another day.

  8. I relate to that. I'm only just over five feet myself. Life spent looking up people's noses and turning up hems, ha,ha.


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